3. You too, at some point in your life may find yourself taking care of aging parents or elderly members in your family, in the same way, they cared for you. But at least our own parents, grandparents and elders we know of. Mostly in European countries I saw parents or older persons live in old home when they grew old. WOW very helpful tips to take care of elderly people and I had to note down these tips. Having to help someone suffering from a serious illness or sliding into dementia is a huge burden to pile on top of the demands of everyday living. Benefitscheckup.org (National Council on Aging) is the nation’s most comprehensive web-based service where you can search benefits and programs for seniors with limited income and resources from all 50 states and the District of Columbia. No medical support. But yes, I can foresee and know that such times will come and one’s just got to be mentally prepared for it. An overall decline in physical and mental vitality may result in visible and even drastic changes to our parent’s appearance, the standard of life, and emotional well-being. Work with your relative to assess their needs. You’re surely going through a lot Corina, and that’s commendable indeed. Regards. There are a lot of great tips from you but thing like exercise is one of the hardest that elderly people would enjoy to do it. I make up when I visit him or when he comes over, but am glad my sister’s there to take care of him at least, while I do the needful here with my in-laws. Wonderful post Harleena! However, death is an unavoidable fact of life. (I want personal advice for this question if you can give me.). Pay attention to your parents' appearance. She is suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease and needs lots of care now. Learn more about the reasons caring senior services fail and what to consider before using a service for an aging loved one. When my father died in 2004, my mother was bereft. I like the feelings you shared about your Mom and Dad, and that’s the way every child should feel. When we talk they always try to emphasis they are still younger and can take care of themselves alone. Now that they don’t have to manage kids or career, most seniors like the opportunity to reach out and help others. I hope you don’t mind Harleena . Thanks for stopping by and your words of appreciation. More so, if they have lost their spouse, their life can be very lonely. She’s stubborn too. You need to complete all the paperwork beforehand. One thing that is very important is that if there are more than one sibling that they all get on the same page and work close together when it comes to parents. , Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. Thank you for your informative post on this important topic. Before you extend an offer to move in, there are many pros and cons to consider. Yes indeed, taking care of elders or anyone for that matter is a challenge, which only few can really do because they have to put their complete selves when they take care and accept the hurdles and challenges willingly. It’s all easier said than done, and I can well relate to that,as the feelings were mutual, though for me it all ended a long time back. Doctors love to just put elder on another pill, and this needs to be watched very closely at all times. I noticed one thing that you didn’t mention regarding elderly care or caring for someone with a disability, there are often times a need for increased safety features. They could take up light exercises or as much as their body allows, like light walks and then gradually take up light exercises. PRO: Save Money Smoke detectors with a vibrate feature or with strobe lighting that can wake up seniors when conventional devices wouldn’t. I did get to spend the last 4 months of my mothers life seeing her everyday and loved that. . And yes, they try to show their presence by visiting their parents once a year and feel they have done their duty. Don’t worry or stress out. I have seen that how children treated their elders it is sad to see them. Give them their autonomy. You see my worry?…..Elderly will be pushed into stingy old age homes. The presence of an outsider suggests to the elder that their family can’t (or doesn’t want to) take care of them. Before you extend an offer to move in, there are many pros and cons to consider. Nonetheless, I will be sure to visit her as often as possible to keep her emotionally upbeat and involved. 10 Basic Tips: Taking Care of Elderly Parents at Home Taking care of elderly parents at home is something that most of us, at some point, should expect. Taking an honest look at where an elderly parent needs support is the first step and then assess at all the possible solutions in order get them the help they need. This updated post is about elderly care at home. Caring for the elderly parents is a blessing. I’m sorry for what you and your family have gone through. Ah…you seem to have undergone most of the things mentioned, and yes, we are often caught unawares when crisis strikes. This is an excerpt from my book: Doing the Right Thing: Taking Care of Your Elderly Parents Even if They Didn't Take Care of You (Tarcher/Penguin, 2006 paperback), pgs. You’re right about the lack of basic knowledge among some of the caregivers, which results in the elders suffering, and this is more so in our country than elsewhere I think. My mother is getting to a point that she could use additional help. Caring for aging parents may be a top priority for their children. Some of the links on this page may link to our affiliates. However, I did take care of my mom for the five years she battled cancer and was in and out of the hospital. So, reach out and love your elders – for they have loved and cared for you all these years, and now it’s your turn. She’s had nursing home insurance for over 25 years now and doesn’t want to be a burden to us. Having them move in with you may seem like the most logical next step. I’ll touch some areas with thoughts of mine as a grandchild. Taking care of elderly parents at home, either theirs or yours, requires dedication of time and effort 1.Adult children of elderly parents should discuss such options with parents before such needs arise 1.Whether you decide to visit your parent's home on a regular basis or move mom or dad (or both) in with you, certain steps needs to be taken to provide them a safe and healthy environment. Also, make sure that the pharmacist is honest and of repute, as sometimes they can repackage pills that shouldn’t be taken by making it look all new. Life can surely be tough at times, so you need to be geared up to face it – isn’t it? I learn lot from this elaborate article. Once again thank you for your reply. When she was home I took care of her and when she was in the hospital I went there every night after work to see her. )- but slowly some people have started doing this here too. , We all have or had elder relatives or parents and it is certainly our duty to take a good care about them. Taking care of elderly parents. That person is also a father or a mother, and have feelings. Ensure all cables and wires are tucked away to prevent slips or falls. What will I do when my parents die? It’s very important for every other aged person. The Rumor: Children should always care for their aging parents Our relationship with our elders can be complex, and sometimes we still carry the burden of familial resentments long past. While I was happy reading your post on how to deal with children, here comes another exciting one. And even if they aren’t married, they leave home nowadays for higher education and then to seek jobs, which happens with men too. Are you one of them? Can Prayers for Healing the Sick Really Do Miracles? Caregiver support is available. Like my Dad, I hope the time will never come that she will have to go to a home but that will be where she’ll go IF that time comes that someone needs to be there with her. If so, what ways would I follow while taking care of them? Understand how much care is needed. Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship. This is also a great starting point to gather information about programs that your elderly parent is eligible for and can use. I don’t think I would last very long in a nursing home. I’ll be sure to install those grab bars and find someone to come to my mother’s house to help her. How insurance can pay for aging parents Medicare. I’ve never heard of Pick’s diseases, and it almost seems like sleep walking, which can be very dangerous, especially in Alzheimer’s. . Are you able to take care of your elderly with ease? I’ve seen my Mom undergo a lot of stress when she used to look after her mother-in-law as she handled things single-handed. Children can often become distraught…, Don’t you all wait for holidays or vacations? Don’t forget to keep track of their bills too. I liked the story you shared about your Mom and sister, something similar to getting an intuition I think when you feel that something isn’t alright, and this happens when people are close to each other (in most cases). They don’t want to give up their independence and are often times in denial about their condition. God bless, Barbara. Our parents and elders always think about us I think, as we are their children. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views. Remember, they are your parents or elders and are already undergoing a lot. Table of Contents Family Time is DisappearingWhy Family Connections MatterScheduling Family TimeBeing Intentional10 Ideas for Creating Meaningful Family…, Keeping calm can be one of the most challenging responsibilities of a parent. No matter how you look at it caring for elderly parents means making sure they are safe, happy and taken care of. I guess they don’t have to hunt elsewhere then . Why is life so short? I left a link to her story that I published on my hubpages account a year ago. Although society is preoccupied with medical fixees for ageing nothing compares with thoughtful and loving care. 84-88. Glad you liked the post and could relate to it . In addition to siblings and other family members, there are experts, professionals, resources, and loads of information to help you in caring for elderly parents. I lost my grandparents long back too, but it’s the blessings of my Dad and other elders in the family that keeps me going. Like you can take care of the following –. Ah…yes, caregivers need to look after themselves in order to take care of anyone else, and that should be their first priority. Can’t agree more. Taking care is no easy task, and just as you mentioned, it was a combined effort with your Mom when you had to take care of your Dad – especially when finding help was so tough for you all. Counselors are available to assist and even provide the necessary documents and forms to apply for programs. I agree, we talk of our grandparents who are within the same country and at a short distance or near to our place, but what about those who live overseas or are just left to live their own lives – I feel so sorry for them. I make sure that my in-laws are more than happy with my attitude, even though they still are very active and doing everything on their own and infact helping me at times.Their blessings says everything, when I meet them in the morning. But sometimes, I’m sure you must be running out of…, Have you ever wished that teaching kids to do their home-work was not an uphill task? So we can’t ignore them as they are old. Work to understand your loved one’s reasons for resisting in-home care, which could include fear, embarrassment, resentment or some mix of the three. They hate to be dependent on anyone, more so if it’s their kids, who they don’t want to trouble. Depending on their overall health and how well they can manage day-to-day tasks, they may need anything from occasional help to constant support. If you are busy and can’t take care of your parents and elders, it’s good for them to make friends with people of their age group. So, hope you do visit them often, or perhaps they visit you, though am sure like most elders – their visits are less or rare – right? SHARE TWEET , Thanks for stopping by, and for leaving such a wonderful comment. How insurance can pay for aging parents Medicare. . Your words reminded me of my Mom too, and all that I had to do in her last days too while she was suffering from cancer. This is a lesson for all of us to keep calling our parents often, whether there is a reason or not – isn’t it? Let’s take a moment to consider some essential things we should take into account regarding their welfare during aging and how in-home care can make all the difference. Elders(Parents) they are ones whom we should think about no matter in what situation we are dealing with. Absolutely! As adult children, when imagining our parents as seniors, we may not fully comprehend the extent to which their aging will affect them or how it will affect us. I will always cherish those months. I love the pictures you use in this article. And don’t forget to take breaks and enjoy your life also, which you can do by getting away for a while. But you want to provide your Mom or Dad with the best care and the highest quality of life. You are right – there was a lot to write, but the length of this post had already become too long so I couldn’t mention a lot of things and left them for another post. I agree, exercise is something most elders might not want to do if they aren’t in the habit from before, but that’s required to keep them healthy and it helps to keep their limbs moving and functional right through. Sadly, there are a few elders who prefer remaining home, and this often leads to unhappiness, depression, and other ailments. It’s recommended that seniors add a second person with a detailed photograph, whether a friend or professional, who will also be there to keep a check on things. Just like my dad, he isn’t young but when I ask him to come and exercise – play some basketball, but he doesn’t seem like interested in it. We need to remember that how we treat our parents is how our kids will treat us, because they notice everything we do and say – so we need to watch ourselves. Now my Mom is living next door to me and independent although she can’t walk in a straight line anymore. I’m glad my Dad’s very health conscious. If you have elders staying at home, then you need to prepare the home for them. www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/19/guide-to-caring-for-elderly-parents_n_6315930.html Think about your own needs and abilities. I took her strawberry picking (wild strawberries), weeded her flowers and spent time with her. Wish I had more time, which again I need to take out – no excuses as they say. If full-time assistance isn’t required, installing a home monitoring system can aid … No one gets younger and one day, its going to catch up, its all about time. One of the things is so that my children will not be burdened financially with me. Sadly, at times, people have to depend on institutions and there aren’t enough of good ones around. It’s a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate our love and care for a relative in need.Its task however, doesn’t have to be complicated. Have a lovely week ahead . To maintain their health and independence, you would need to pay for a few services. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with everyone.:). You will only be happy you did, and remember, they aren’t with you forever. Medicaid covers about 33% percent of costs. Let’s face it – it’s no easy task. Not all care recipients will be amenable to this arrangement, but it is possible for aging parents to use their own funds to pay a family member (usually an adult child) for the care they provide. Parents has given life to us and made our life with happiness,sadness,,..etc as their life. It’s hard living 1000 miles away and only being able to fly down 2-3 times per year to see her. Most of us do cater to the financial aspect during our lifetime so that we don’t burden our kids later, but we really can’t be sure of how things turn out when the time comes – can we? She seems free of pain and comfortable, but has lost her ability to speak or walk, and now needs help with eating. I’m a member of a public speaking group and all my friends there (except two) are seniors. You are right – our parents and elders are the ones who raise us and it’s because of them we are here in this world, doing what we do. Even people in general, as you mentioned, refrain from taking care of their own parents or elders at home due to the various reasons mentioned and discussed by many in the above comments. One of the things I do is not treat my mother as if she is incapable of doing things for herself. When she looked there, it said – Pick up the phone when Mother is calling you…, Nice to know that the post touched you in some way as that was what I was wanting that it strikes a chord somewhere in each one of us . And I do get the sense that this club is a great way for them to get together with friends once month, share each other’s company and use public speaking as a way to do this. Take care of your elders and ensure that they somehow stay connected with the rest of the world. Hope the post helps those who are taking care of their elders, or might have to in the near future. Whichever way you go, the important thing is that it affords your elderly parents the best possible care. Very comprehensive article. I read about congregate meals that often take place at senior centers. But you want to provide your Mom or Dad with the best care and the highest quality of life. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your experiences with all of us. I lovey our suggestion about visiting your elders often. So your parents or elders are handled with care, love, affection, as they need your full attention and patience. The basic ADL activities are typically listed as: If they have impaired mobility and health issues that make it difficult or impossible for them to take care of these ADLs independently then you need to find them the appropriate help. My mother is now 89 years old and living in a care home but after her stroke in ’99 she moved up north to live with us for 6 years during her recovery. I know we can’t help everyone. There are people who prefer taking care of elderly at home, whether they are parents, grandparents, or close family members. These could be a helper or caretaker if any, and the amount they would charge. It is honorable to take care of someone when they need you the most. Even a child made up her mind to stay and take care of them, they are like stubborn children. But once they become inactive, its hard for them to sustain in this world. I have seen my own parents look after their parents and I will do what it takes to care for them. This post is so compassionate and full of helpful information. I know you will do everything you can for your parents Harleena They are so lucky. It’s not only about my parents though. They are healthy, but both live alone. Medication surely needs to be handled with care, and sometimes over-dosage does more harm than good. Our mom was calling her a few days in a raw but she didn’t pick up. I agree, caregivers are under a lot of stress and if they don’t take care of themselves, they won’t be able to manage their parents or elders. If your parents are tech-savvy, then a mobile phone would be ideal, or then a website update every 2-3 hours would keep you less worried too. I agree, when the need arises all the siblings come together to take care, unless they’ve had really major problems with their parents or elders earlier. The Rumor: Children should always care for their aging parents Our relationship with our elders can be complex, and sometimes we still carry the burden of familial resentments long past. My mum and dad are well over 70. They can do so by mixing up with others and visiting clubs, or joining common hobby courses. Superb post, thanks for sharing it! Nice to know more about your in-laws and if they are able to help you, then hats-off to them for being so good and to be able to understand your situation and be there for you. Enjoy your weekend. Be sure you’re carving out time for yourself every single day to keep yourself healthy and happy. Donna. If their well-being is ensured then we have peace of mind. Caring for an aging parent is a complex task. Rooms or apartment rental, group meals, and amenities such as social activities, exercise, laundry and housekeeping services. Nice Quote indeed….You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair. While most elders are able to manage depending on their age and health, there are still many who aren’t, yet they won’t admit it. It is very stressful trying to make decisions like, “Does she need to go to the ER? I guess now with time she needs more care and special attention, especially with this dreaded diseases. Copyright © 2010-2020 Aha!NOW. It’s good that they have found a way to be with each other, and this must be helping them to spend their time and leave their worries aside too. 5. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. However, the care taker needs respite. I’m glad to hear that, though sorry that you lost your Mom at that young an age. It is the religious as well as natural duty to help them so they will understand that they are not alone. But thanks to shared this blog with us and pls come up with these more blog we love to read and get some more information. Thank you for this wonderful job you have done! Moreover, if you have ailing parents or elders – you simply live for them and do it happily and willingly, keeping your other problems aside. Make changes in the house. Have a lovely weekend . Providing care for a friend or family member is a labor of love for the 40 million people who are coping with that challenge.But taking on caregiving responsibilities can be costly. . The more aware we are of how aging can affect them, and what options are available to them as seniors and us as caring adult children, the better for all involved. This is one reason why some people opt for assisted living. Sooner or later we all have to die. . But sadly, many don’t think like you and me and have other priorities or thoughts about the same, so I hope the post sends across some message to them. I just got back yesterday from being down there for a week helping her, visiting and showing her my love and appreciation for my dear mother. when our parents age, they become very similar to kids and in fact need more of looking after. Once they get into the habit, they are able to do it, as I see both, my Dad and in-laws remain happy and healthy practicing it daily. For the best care for your elderly parents, work with a home care agency so that even when you are not around, your parents have all the care they need. Most people lead busy lives and find it tough to take care of their elders even though they want to, which results in either sending them to old age homes or providing for them to be looked after. We need to make them always feel happy and proud by seeing us!! In addition to home care, today there are retirement communities, nursing homes as well as assisted living residences. There is so much involved with caring for your elders but to me Harleena, I wouldn’t trade that for the world. You are right – sooner or later all of us are going to pass through this phase of life, or take care of our elders and parents at home. Life doesn’t end when they get old, and that’s something you need to convey to them. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your views with us. Going straight to the source, here you can find out information on over 1,000 benefit and assistance programs covering health, disability, income, wealth (as in property owned), whether a military veteran, education level and more. Hi Harleena, This is really a very useful post as always. Or can she wait until tomorrow to go to the doctor?” and it is difficult to see them in pain. They always remain as our guardian angels guiding us throughout our lives. The sister came to her house straight away, the doctor was there writing a prescription on a piece of paper. Indeed, if they are already seniors and still in good health and living independently we may not feel any dramatic changes or concerns. I look forward to them in-fact. HA… I think we need some tricky applications. Glad you liked the post, and yes, nothing comes easy – isn’t it? I’ve gone through this once with mom and it’s really a difficult situation, especially if there have been no preparations financial or otherwise. Thanks for stopping by and adding more value to the post. However, I’m glad you shared it with all of us here. I was quite a bit younger, and really had no clue what to say nor add input to the situation. Seem very trivial to me Harleena, this is something that has to be with whenever.... S and she needs help with their own meals, and sometimes over-dosage does more harm good! Way every child should feel way about it by aging parents Canada should not afraid. 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